Support through the transition

Today I woke up with a sore throat, a stuffy nose and a heavy heart. It's nothing serious, I just think the vacation phase has worn off and we're starting to adjust to the realities of staying here for an extended time. Lindsay and Lucy needed help with homework and I loved being home, making muffins for them (no baking powder but they turned out fine, at least when eaten warm with butter!) while they worked at the kitchen table in the morning dark. Is it starting to be dark in the mornings in America already? It doesn't get light until 8 am here and I'm not comfortable running in the dark by myself, so that decision is made for me. Sophie woke up and I hugged her and joyfully danced around the room with her in my arms as usual, but that didn't prevent her from being in the grumps 5 minutes later when I asked her to get dressed for school. Brushing hair, eating breakfast, getting dressed.... it was all just a horrible thing to ask.

Stone slept in (as in, he came into my bed at 6:30 and went back to sleep) and I waited until the very last second to wake him. He was deep under, and as I picked him up he said "Wait, I'm not finished yet, I still have the last piece in my hand!" He opened his eyes and looked in his hand in confusion, then laughed at himself, "I was dreaming about a puzzle! Whoa, that was weird!" Such a sweet, happy boy, but as soon as he discovered I was dressing him for school he began to cry, and when I set him down he ran and hid under the stairs. With Erik gone and my reserves low I knew I didn't have it in me to peel my shrieking son off of my body and leave him at school, so I just told him right away that he didn't have to go to school. He was so relieved, he kept saying "Thank you, Mommy, oh thank you, Mommy," and hugging and kissing me as I ran around to get everyone out the door.

The older girls had a hard time as we walked - Lindsay was still feeling overwhelmed by the thought of four months and Lucy was in tears that she still hadn't finished her giant load of homework (over the weekend!). Luckily Christie had shared with me the story of our dear friend Tracy, who injured her hip in their Ragnar race, but refused to give up and walked the last 3 miles. That girl just DOES NOT GIVE UP. And then she missed her flight home, and then, unbelievably, missed a SECOND flight home, knowing that her husband had had to go out of town and her kids were with babysitters. Christie went to pick up injured, double-flight-missed Tracy from the airport and found her in characteristically cheerful spirits. She asked her "how are you not in tears right now??" And Tracy said something like, "Well the people in the airport saw some tears, but you just take what life gives you and make the best of it!" I sent Lindsay in to school saying "Think of Auntie Tracy and how she would never, ever give up." And I sent Lucy in saying "Think of Auntie Tracy and how she would just acknowledge the difficulty but not let it get her down! Move forward with a smile like Tracy." And they both went in greatly encouraged.

I headed home with Stone relieved to have him with his mommy but wondering what to do with him. Long story short, I talked with my wise new friend Nicole, whose 4-year-old boy had also cried and hidden this morning, and she reminded me that school is only two hours and that he would get over the hump. When I talked to her on the phone I was ready to pull him from the school altogether... but during the morning we did a short "Mommy School" and then all he wanted to do while I washed dishes and folded laundry was play on my phone. No friends to play with, not enough toys.... this would be a long four months. I was not as buoyant as Tracy I'm afraid and I gave in to the "what am I doing here??" feelings (maybe because Stone kept asking me "Why did you take me here?? Please can't you take me back to California??" and listing all his friends that he misses so much).

Luckily I was able to talk with my adored in-laws this afternoon and they gave me the pep talk I needed, reminding me why this is such a valuable experience for me and for Erik and for all of the children, and how the pieces did fall into place from the very beginning. And they gave me some really great advice:

-Stone's experience at school would change greatly if he had a friend. There is a really nice mom with a boy Stone's age - be proactive and talk to her. Invite her and her son to the park after school so Stone feels comfortable with at least one child.

-Make a game out of understanding some Spanish words. Erik's dad told me that when Erik's hearing-impaired brother was little, he had a really hard time because he was so bright but he missed so much of what was said. So Erik's mom tirelessly taught him words and signs, which unlocked the world around him and enabled him to engage in what everyone else was experiencing. This clicked for me because Stone's #1 complaint is that he doesn't understand Spanish. He is such a curious boy who always wants to know what's going on, and it frustrates him to no end to be lost in a sea of unintelligible gibberish. Decode the gibberish in a fun way, and suddenly his brain will know how to engage! So I taught him a few key phrases tonight and he was saying them over and over before bed.

Simple solutions that really encouraged me and gave me the shot in the arm that I needed.

Also, Lindsay's play date went great today, and tonight I walked into my room and she was helping Naomi (her American friend) with Spanish homework via Skype on my computer.

Everything is going to be ok. Hmmm... I didn't take any pictures today. Just imagine me making a defeated face, and then a slightly more hopeful face, and then a super grumpy face, and then in the end a peaceful face.