Kids' observations: Spain vs. United States

First things first: Stone did great in school today!! He cried "super hard" (in his words) when Sophie had to let go of his hand and walk to her class this morning, but he got a grip quick and didn't cry for the rest of the day. I was so relieved! I almost left him sleeping in his bed this morning - he was so tired and I literally cried when I had to wake him up (I successfully hid my tears) - but I'm glad Erik insisted that he be woken up and taken to school. Stone was so proud of himself and learned a lot of new words, and he wouldn't have had that success if I'd let him stay home. Knowing when to push and when to relax is one of the hardest parts of parenting for me - it hasn't gotten any easier since I tried doing Baby Wise 11 1/2 years ago, and would have to lie on the couch with a pillow over my head, bawling my eyes out when Lindsay cried. Sometimes I don't know when to trust my gut and when to override it. At least it's nice that there are two parents - hopefully between the two of us we'll do ok.

Other highlights from today: swimming on a hotel rooftop pool with the Martens, riding my new bike for the first time, and Lindsay going to a Flamenco class (and loving it!!)

We love outdoor cafes!! Although we kept having to remind Stone and Isaac to not race and chase and shriek - even though it's outside it's still a restaurant. :)

What an amazing view! I love tile roofs and had never seen one up close like that.
The Martens have all kinds of great connections since they're here with a University.

And now I'm going to write some of the kids' observations about how Spain compares to home. There have been many lately. I'm going to try to not make any comments on them - these are their words.

Lindsay

• The kids are really, really nice and supportive here. Naomi doesn't speak any Spanish yet, and at her school one day she had to read out loud, and when she finished her paragraph all the kids started clapping and cheering for her! 
• SO MUCH HOMEWORK HERE!!!! And the teacher sends a student around the room to check and see if everyone finished, and then the student reports to the teacher out loud in front of the class. The other day I hadn't finished, and the teacher made me explain why I hadn't finished in front of everyone.
• I was reading out loud (we were going around the room reading) and there was a word I couldn't say correctly and the teacher stopped me and made me read it over and over and OVER again, correcting me.
• There is a rule that you can't doodle in class. One boy was drawing a picture, and when the teacher saw him she walked over and said "NO, Oliver," and tore his paper up and threw it in the trash!
• We have to use pens - no pencils - and use white out for any mistakes. If you cross out one word - even ONE WORD - you have to tear out the paper and start all over again. If it's sloppy handwriting you have to tear it out and start all over again. 

Lucy

• The kids are so nice to each other! They are very supportive, like in PE we were doing a 1 meter jump test, and all the kids cheered for each kid as they did it. Especially the girls are very, very supportive of each other and everyone includes everyone else.
• One day a boy got hurt playing soccer at recess, and my friend Claudia ran over to see if he was ok and walked with him to get help.
• The adults here seem to be mad a lot. In my Ballet class the teacher was very rough and when she asked me a question I said "vale" (Ok) and then she asked louder right in my face "VALE?" and I had to answer "Vale" again. Then later I was looking at my feet trying to do what she was telling us, and she yanked my head up. Then I was trying to do a step but it was different from the way I learned it in my California class, so I was trying but she got mad and clapped super loud right in my face. That made me burst into tears and run out. It was so startling and I HATED it. But then she was smiling later, then yelling, then smiling, then yelling. And always the loud clapping.
• In the United States my teacher never, ever yelled at us. But here my teacher yells at us all the time with a super scratchy coughy voice. 
• So many adults here smoke!! Even the parents of our friends.

Sophie

• The kids here are really nice to their siblings. At recess I see older siblings run to their little brothers and sisters all the time and hug them and take care of them.
• On the first day of school I was standing in front of a girl and she said "Hola, soy Carlota." And I said "Hola," and she said "Quieres ser mi amiga?" (Do you want to be my friend?) and she chose a desk right by me and she is so nice to me.
• My teacher is nice but she does yell at our class sometimes. And she has yelled at just one child maybe four times. But never at me - I am just very quiet and I just make sure I do what everyone else is doing.
• At recess there is no play ground - just a big open area. But there is a hopscotch in the middle, and everyone crinkles up their tin foil from their sandwiches to make hopscotch thingys to throw.

Stone

• At Bing (our preschool in California) I got to run and play outside but in Spain I have to just sit.

Amys' observation (in addition to the ones I've already shared, like adults pulling children around by the wrist): When I pick Stone up from class, the teacher has several times now pointed out that Stone does not color with the appropriate colors. "All the other children colored their beach balls in these nice bright colors. But Stone only used green and gray. Please work with him on that." Or "All the other children drew distinct facial features on their circles, but Stone made his into a jelly fish. Please work with him on that." Never have I been so aware of my American values (perhaps especially Californian, and even more especially Northern Californian) of free thinking and free expression, fostering creativity and showing respect for the child as a human being! Wow. I bite my tongue when my kids mention these differences and I say "How fascinating!! What can we learn from this different way of doing things?" But I will admit that inside I am flabbergasted, sometimes amused and sometimes incensed. We will continue to strive for an open mind, to try to see the value in their way of doing things and remind ourselves that our resistance to certain behaviors are only because they're different from what we're used to. But I don't think I'd want to do that for more than four months, to be honest. I believe in gentleness and respect, and in the importance of play and exploration for young children. They have to hold still, color with everyone else's prescribed color palette and march in line soon enough as it is.