August 3: Castle and Concert

We planned our trip around the Military Tattoo at Edinburgh Castle, which begins the first week of August every year. We knew that in addition to the famous show at the castle, Edinburgh attracted crowds for the Fringe Festival and Art Festival, so we knew it would be crowded. But our tour guide on the first day told us that Edinburgh doesn't just get crowded every August, it doubles its population. He told us a lot of locals go on vacation for the month, and sure enough, our apartment building emptied out on the second day we were there. After six weeks of travel full of castles, museums, and bustling capital cities, we were growing weary. I was amazed at the kids' ability to push themselves through with cheerful attitudes - sometimes we would all be so tired that we felt like we couldn't move, but when it was time to go they would haul themselves off the couch and put on their shoes without complaint. We slowed down the pace and only did a couple of things per day, allowing more rests in between, so we were able to take in the beauty of the things we were seeing.

Oh! And Erik talked me into coming to CrossFit with him. He said the coach and the people there were really warm and welcoming and that they had asked about me and told him to bring me. :) So I relented and ran with him to CrossFit. And it was the same story as it always is doing physical challenges: I had so much anxiety I almost left, I felt reserved and didn't want to talk to anyone at first because I didn't want to look foolish in front of people or let anyone down if I was placed on their team, I felt waves of elementary school-era panic memories flow through me.... but I stuck it out and coached myself to just do my best at the one task that was in front of me. Some of the exercises were comfortable, and some were hard, and when they were hard I just told the coach, "This is new for me. Can you tell me if I'm doing it right?" And he was happy to help, and I gave it my all without analyzing whether or not I was doing it "right." By the end I was chatting and laughing with people and I had done the whole workout, and I was so proud of myself!! On the run home I was telling Erik about that mental experience and he just marveled at how different we are. For one thing, he doesn't have the same reinforced, entrenched negative thinking around sports and physical activities; if he were going to a solo singing camp in the mornings with me it might be slightly different. Erik feels at home in CrossFits throughout the world - he's gone to so many and has had so many good experiences that he approaches each one with positive associations. But even if it were a less comfortable environment, Erik just approaches things with less fear. He doesn't feel failure - he knows he isn't going to be good at things at the beginning and he expects to work and work and work at something until he gets it right. He also doesn't fear other people's judgment the way I do. I notice that when we go into CrossFit together he is super chatty and open and unreserved. This is kind of weird, considering that I am naturally much more trusting of strangers and my baseline feeling toward humanity is one of such love that it makes me cry, while he is very tribal and views people he doesn't know with distrust. So it's weird to see what looks like a role reversal when we're at a new gym - we're both warm, but he is waaaay more talkative than I am - I keep to myself and stay in the corner. But it's not that I don't like the people, it's that I don't want to fail in front of people or be judged or let people down. And those thoughts don't even enter his mind. Not one bit. And that's one of the many reasons I am SO grateful to be married to him - his confidence and independence and growth mindset inspires me to push myself and care less what people think.

On Friday morning we woke up and walked around the corner to Edinburgh Castle - literally a 2 minute walk from our front door. Even as we arrived first thing in the morning, the line for the audio guide and the crown jewels were so long, the kids said "let's skip it and look up photos online," so we did. We just wandered through the whole gigantic fortress, exploring any building that didn't have a giant line coming out of it. Once again we were sobered to see that one of the main chapels had been dedicated to the soldiers and civilian casualties and specifically the women affected by World War I.

As usual

We are so happy it has been cold in Scotland. It seems more Scottish and makes the crowds and walking bearable.

I remember the first time I went to Scotland with my high school choir, everywhere we went we heard about Robert the Bruce. This time we barely saw or heard about him. I snapped this photo of his statue as we left the castle.

After the castle, the three girls were so kind to come with me on a special errand to find a hand-fasting ribbon for my sister Courtney's wedding. Hand-fasting is an ancient Celtic tradition where the hands are wrapped together with a ribbon or cord - Whitney and Tristan did it at their wedding and so did Prince William and Princess Kate. :) We wanted to find something with thistles so it would look especially Scottish, but none of the touristy shops near us had anything so we walked to another part of town to a fabric store. Thankfully we found a beautiful, simple lace with thistles! And I was so grateful to the girls for going with me when they were already so tired. 

These little alleyways with stairs are so interesting - Edinburgh is a very hilly city so there's a lot of climbing.

After the fabric store errand we rested for a bit and then went to our first Fringe Festival event, the Soweto Gospel Choir from South Africa! Lindsay had seen a poster advertising it as we drove into the city and was so excited - her choir went to South Africa last year and sang a lot of South African music, and the Soweto Gospel Choir is world famous. Erik had to keep working, so I took the kids and we were all absolutely blown away by the intense, saturated, exuberant music and the soulful dancing. I was so enthralled and caught up in the moment that I forgot to take any pictures at all!