Sunday, July 8, 2018

July 2: York

I decided to go to CrossFit Jorvik (the Viking word for York) when we woke up. Erik had gone without a CrossFit for several days, doing homemade workouts and runs with me since Dublin, and he was really really missing it. I've also been sad to see my hard-won arm and shoulder muscles dwindling (as well as my calves in the absence of Rancho's switchbacks), so I went with him. It was a mile run, a 2,000 calorie row (I've never rowed more than 500 calories at a time), and a 120 calorie sprint on the assault bike (I've never assault biked more than 10 calories at a time, and I HATE that thing. The pedals are purposely extremely stiff, but there is no way to adjust the tension, and people who weigh twice as much as me can just stand up and use their weight to crank the pedals. I am at near 100 percent effort the entire time - I can't get any momentum). Plus Erik and I found ourselves to have misaligned expectations about the run and I ended up quite upset. We talked it out as we walked back the hotel (we took the long way and did a few extra laps to give us time to work through it), and I was so proud of myself for that workout! It didn't last nearly as long as my runs do, but was much harder for me. That bike is my nemesis.

We showered, woke the kids up, and the family ate yet another English breakfast (eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, beans, mushrooms, tomato is the full English, but my kids all subtract many of the items) while I picked at the least objectionable pieces of fruit. Then Erik took some bags of laundry to the laundromat while Stone and I transferred luggage from one room to another, and we finally stepped out into the sunshine and walked across the street to the cathedral to join a free walking tour of the city. It was very informative - the guide was extremely knowledgable and had lots of interesting stories to tell. But we all commented that he didn't seem to have much sense of how long he was making us stand there listening in the hot sun, and by halfway through Erik, Lucy and Stone jumped ship. Lindsay and Sophie stayed until the end but we were all completely wilted and I found myself (yes, even me!) unable to absorb any more information. 

Photos of the walking tour:

Erik and the redheads met us after the tour for a Mediterranean lunch and to explore the Shambles, an original Medieval street that was used as a model for Diagon Alley. Due to this Harry Potter connection, there were several Harry Potter stores that made Stone's day.

Then Erik and Stone headed back to the hotel to work/read, and the girls accompanied me inside York Cathedral. I was heartbroken that there was no Evensong service on Monday evenings and we had arrived too late at night to hear it the night before. But we wandered around  and took in the beauty and found a beautiful mosaic in the crypt that made me teary. 

Completely spent at 6:00 but with a few hours of daylight left, we had one of those frustrating and annoying trip moments when no one could agree about what to do - Stone and Lucy wanted to stay in the hotel, no one else did, some people were hungry, some weren't, no one wanted to do anything museum-y, and everyone was tired crabby but it wasn't time to sleep yet. Erik had to do a ton of work and hadn't answered my earlier texts when I was trying to plan the day, so I was trying to make plans without him but then he jumped in at the last minute, which made me snap at him that it was too late to give input. :) Everything was wearing thin and I wondered what on earth I had done, dragging us here for so long. I found a park on my map, exactly a mile away, so I forced the grumpy kids out the door and said we would find food somewhere along the river. And what we found, to our jubilation, was a grocery store with tubs of Ben & Jerry's. We bought tubs to share and some plastic spoons, and magically revived! We played at the park the rest of the evening, with even Lindsay and Lucy joining in. It reminded me of so many evenings when the kids were little, walking to Bubb Park for the evening, or in Spain at the Bean Park or Zipline Park, or Boston at the playground by the Charles River. The sun sank low in the sky and we chatted and laughed and ran around. We didn't even stop when Stone split his pants open - Lindsay just gave him her jacket to tie around his waist. 

Oh, and the last thing was really important: Lindsay had been looking sad all day, and Stone did or said something - I don't remember what - on the walk home that made her really mad so I told her she needed to talk with him about it. She didn't want to but I told her it was a great chance to practice the conflict resolution skills we work on in our family, and that in my experience, some hurt feelings fade with time, but others become infected and destroy relationships if untreated. She relented and I called Stone over to talk while we walked, guiding them just a little but not that much. Lindsay did a great job using "I" statements of primary feelings ("I feel frustrated..." or "I feel so sad when...") even though her feelings were running high and she broke down in tears and perhaps conflated a few other emotional troubles with her grievances against Stone. I nudged her comments in a constructive direction just a tiny bit, but she really did a great job keeping it about her own feelings and not making accusations. Then I could not believe what a good job Stone did at listening without getting defensive. He asked questions to try to understand her, and said with complete sincerity, "Lindsay, I am SO glad you told me this. I had no idea you felt that way." He told her he could understand why she felt like that, and that he would try to do better, and again, that he was so grateful to know so that he could be a better brother. They hugged through tears and walked back to the hotel hand in hand. And if I do nothing else as a mom, that is enough for me.

Walking tour









Lucy and Erik arm wrestling at a restaurant regrettably named "HumPit," as in Hummus-Pita

Death eater mask at a Harry Potter store in the Shambles

Pretty streets with the cathedral in the background

I love the message of Jesus Christ - may this injunction be internalized and implemented everywhere

The famous rose window, commemorating the end of the War of the Roses

The line-up of the English Kings, from William the Conqueror to Henry IV. Most of the names, written below their feet, were easy to read, but the middle one in this photo was tricky and Lindsay was convinced it said "Richard Skadoosh," as in Kung Fu Panda.

One of my favorite cathedrals

I wish I had taken pictures of the kids playing, but at least I have one of the ripped pants!

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